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</a> To pull back on your contributions, she recommends simply being honest with your children. "Tell them, 'I truly wish I could give you this money, but I have to earmark it in case something comes up. I'd rather you learn to be independent and financially autonomous now while I'm well and can enjoy watching you grow than spring a surprise burden on you later.'" She says that the main message, however you choose to convey it, should always be that giving them less money isn't a punishment &mdash; it's an opportunity for your children to grow.